Just because fairy tales end with “… And they lived happily ever after”, doesn’t mean that is the case for every relationship!
You already know that life, love and relationships, aren’t like the story books.
There will be times when you will look at the person lying next to you and wonder, Is this it? Forever?!
Yet somewhere deep in your subconscious, you still carry romantic visions of how love and relationships should be: you want to believe that your pure love for each other will pull you through. And it can. But … it ain’t always pretty!
That may sound grim. But here’s a secret: Sometimes it’s the least romantic parts of marriage that teach you the most – about yourself, your partner, and the nature of love.
Here are some simple truths that will help you to unlock the surprising treasures and pleasures in your imperfect, fact-not-fiction, real-life love.
Some of the Facts About Love and Relationships
Early on, when people say, “Marriage takes work,” you assume “work” means being patient when he forgets to put down the toilet seat. In your naiveté, you think that you will struggle to accommodate some annoying habit, like persistent knuckle cracking or flatulence.
If only it were that easy! Human beings, you may have noticed, are not simple creatures.
As two people grow and evolve, the real work of marriage is finding a way to relate to and nurture each other in the process. Here are some of the facts about love and relationships, that nobody ever seems to talk about:
- You will sometimes go to bed angry (and maybe even wake up angrier);
- You will go without sex — sometimes for a long time — and that’s okay;
- Getting your way is usually not as important as finding a way to work together;
- You’ll realise that you can only change yourself;
- A great marriage doesn’t mean there will be no conflict; it simply means that both partners keep trying to get it right.
- As you face your fears and insecurities, you will find out what you’re really made of.
However, sometimes there are crises that are not so easy to work through on your own; this is where couple therapy can help.
People in relationships seek couple therapy for any number of reasons: from power struggles and communication problems; to sexual dissatisfaction and infidelity. Although for best results, therapy is recommended as soon as discontent arises in a relationship.
Author: Janet Moreno, B Sc Psych (Hons), Grad Dip AOD, M HRM, Associate Member ASORC.
Janet Moreno is a psychotherapist and rehabilitation counsellor with over 11 years of experience. She is fluent in both English and Spanish, and sees children, adults and couples. Find out more at her website: www.colibritherapy.com.au.
To make an enquiry or book an appointment with psychotherapist Janet Moreno, freecall 1800 877 924 today or book online.