Have you ever felt like you were not good enough? Maybe you hesitated to speak up in a meeting, doubted your abilities before an exam, or second-guessed yourself in an important life decision. If so, you’re not alone.
I know what that inner critic sounds like – the voice that whispers, “You are not smart enough. You are not talented enough. You will never get it right.” We all have moments of self-doubt. It can feel overwhelming, even paralysing. But here’s the truth: self-doubt is just a story we tell ourselves, and like any story, it can be rewritten.
Confidence isn’t something you’re born with or without. It’s something you build. And the best part? You don’t have to do it alone. Let’s explore how you can turn self-doubt into self-belief, one step at a time.
Understanding Self-Doubt
Self-doubt often comes from past experiences, fear of failure, or comparing ourselves to others. While it can sometimes push us to improve, too much self-doubt can hold us back from opportunities, happiness, and growth.
The Power of Self-Belief
Research shows that self-confidence isn’t about being perfect – it’s about trusting yourself to handle life’s challenges (Bandura, 1997). People who believe in themselves take more chances, recover from setbacks faster, and experience greater overall well-being.
So, how do we shift from self-doubt to self-confidence?
Steps to Build Self-Confidence
1. Challenge Your Inner Critic
That negative voice in your head? It’s often based on fear, not facts. Instead of saying, “I always fail,” ask yourself, “Is this really true?” Replacing harsh self-judgment with self-compassion can weaken the power of negative thinking (Burns, 1980).
2. Focus on Your Strengths
You have talents, skills, and successes – no matter how small. Make a list of moments when you felt proud or capable. The more you focus on what you do well, the more your confidence will grow.
3. Take Small Steps
Confidence is built through action. If speaking in public scares you, start small practice in front of a mirror, then with a friend. Each small step makes it easier.
4. Surround Yourself With Supportive People
The people around you influence how you see yourself. Spend time with those who encourage and uplift you, not those who make you feel small.
5. Practice Self-Compassion
You wouldn’t tell a friend, “You are a failure” – so why say it to yourself? Research shows that self-compassion leads to higher confidence and emotional resilience (Neff, 2011). Speak to yourself with kindness.
6. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection
Perfection is a myth. Instead of aiming for flawless results, celebrate progress. Every step forward – no matter how small – is a success.
7. Use Visualization and Positive Affirmations
Picture yourself succeeding. Top athletes use visualization to prepare for big events – you can, too! Also, try repeating affirmations like, “I am capable. I trust myself.” These habits train your brain to believe in you.
8. Learn from Failure
Failure is not proof that you’re not good enough – it’s proof that you’re trying. Every mistake is a lesson, not a final verdict. Many of the world’s most successful people failed before they succeeded.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
Building self-confidence takes time, patience, and support. If self-doubt is holding you back, know that you don’t have to fight it alone.
As a therapist, I have helped many people overcome self-doubt and build a stronger, more confident version of themselves. If you would like guidance on this journey, I would love to help. Together, we can work on silencing that inner critic and replacing it with self-belief and self-love.
You deserve to feel confident. You deserve to believe in yourself. And you deserve support along the way.
Nenad Bakaj is a Brisbane based Clinical Counsellor, Accredited Mental Health Social Worker, Life Coach and Bigger Bite Out Of Life Trainer with a keen interest in positive psychology, mental health and wellbeing, and is continually developing his professional skills and knowledge. Nenad enjoys working with adolescents and young adults, as well as older clients, and feels it is a privilege to be able to support them.
To make an appointment with Nenad Bakaj, try Online Booking. Alternatively, you can call Vision Psychology Brisbane on (07) 3088 5422 or M1 Psychology Loganholme on (07) 3067 9129.
References:
- Bandura, A. (1997). Self-efficacy: The Exercise of Control. W.H. Freeman.
- Burns, D. D. (1980). Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. HarperCollins.
- Neff, K. (2011). Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. HarperCollins.